:(:(:(:(

We just got back from the allergist. Everyone was fine, except that I got a referral to a Psychologist for Ben. He was acting out, wouldn't let her look at him, screamed, hit me, tore the paper off the bed, just really angry. She asked me if he was like that alot. Yes, I said, somethimes it's really hard to get through the day. She asked if it was a discipline problem. I said I used to be a good Mom before I had him. She said (repeatedly) that I need to get him evaluated and helped so he can be a productive member of society when he grows up. My heart is down in my stomach right now. What am I going to do? What if a psychologist doesn't help? What if this just keeps getting worse as he gets older? What is wrong with me? I hate myself when I yell at him, but we are beyond the point of gentle reminders. I feel like I've done everything wrong and it's my fault he acts this way.
So yeah, I'm real sad right now and I have people coming over in a few minutes for a playdate. What do I do when he misbehaves during that?

100th Post

Yesterday was a surprisingly good day after the start we had. I woke up crabby and found out my boys had Pizza Ranch without me Saturday night. Then it was supposed to rain/snow all day and I did not want to be stuck inside the house. Well...it started out sunny, and at noon it was still sunny, so we headed downtown to the Heritage Run. Ti-ti was running the 10k and we registered the boys for the 1/2 mile fun run. It stayed sunny if a little cool. The boys got plenty of running around time, Ti-ti did good in her race, and they loved their race. Joey came in at 5:51 and Ben did 7:24. Ben got a little pooped at the end, but he stuck with it.

Then....we came home and the boys helped Daddy in the yard while I got to shopping by myself. And did I go shopping! It was recommended to me that Kohl's was having great clearance, plus I love that store so I started there. Well, the clearance pants were picked over and there was not one pair my size, but I picked up a couple shirts and then checked out the regular sale. Wow. Some of the stuff was 65% off. So I started grabbing shirts, capris, shorts, .... Went to the fitting room which is not usually very much fun, but it was great! Everything fit- size 14 pants and large shirts, my tummy wasn't hanging out and I actually felt kinda pretty. (Gasp) The only thing I put back was the bermuda shorts. Still not happening. Wish they would go away. THen I went over to shoes since I've been wearing the same tennies for like 2 years. Found a good pair of Nikes for $40 and decided that I had quite a pile and better be done. Yep, $200 on the Kohl's charge. I don't know if that's ever happened. And I didn't get a single thing for anyone else.

So that was my fun day. I see that it is snowing this morning, grrr. We have allergist appointments in a bit and then a playdate. Gotta keep busy so they don't drive me up a wall.

Weekend Plans

This is the last week to sponsor me for the March for Babies. A big thanks to Jacque, Sarah and Heather for sponsoring me, along with my coworkers and some parents at school. I am almost to my second goal and the team is at over $4000. I would love to see us raise $5000. Baby Camille is doing great! She is at home eating, sleeping and pooping like all babies should. We don't know how long her family will have with her, but they are enjoying every minute right now. They celebrate her "birthday" every day at the same time.

Tonight I drive into the 'burbs for a jewelry party at my sis's house. "Why," you say, "when you don't like jewelry or driving?" Because that is what you do for your sister to avoid large guilt trips. I'm sure the weather will be just fine for the drive, and if there is a tornado I know not to try to hide under an overpass after watching Dateline last week. And I'm sure I'll come away with one piece of jewelry that I'll wear for a few weeks before losing it.

If anyone is around early tomorrow, there is a free showing of Horton Hears a Who at Showplace 14 at 9:30. It is sponsored by the church that meets there. Concessions will be open, too. Yum, popcorn for breakfast:)

Tomorrow night is scrap night!!!! I do love getting together with the girls and getting not much done, but laughing lots and sharing stories live rather than over the internet. Can't wait. Poor Daddy gets to put the kids to bed 2 nights in a row. I wonder if he realizes that? Probably not.

Oh, almost forgot. Daddy got a nice pro musician to come over last night to help me tune my guitar. He tuned it in about 3 seconds AND told me that it was not a piece of junk, that it would work just fine for what I'm going to use it for. So now that it is in tune It actually sounds like music when I practice my chords. And I was able to play a very slooooow version of Kumbaya last night. He tells me that it just takes practice to get faster, so we'll see how it's going in a few weeks.

K- off to get my naked kid to put some clothes back on. Hasta Manana. (I don't know how to make that thing over the n. Just imagine it's there.)

Miscellany

Some stories to share:

Saturday night my dear, dear husband came home and said "I bought something for you, against my better judgement." First of all, what is that supposed to mean? Second of all, what did you buy? Because I have a fairly typical male husband who doesn't buy things for other people very often, and when he does he doesn't always get it quite right.
So it turns out he bought me a treadmill, something I never mentioned, asked for, wanted. Oh boy. How to tell him I appreciate the thought while also making it clear that his "judgement" is right and it would just collect dust, leading him to not buy me gifts in the future. "Honey," I said, "I really don't like treadmills. I have been saying for a while that I would like an elliptical machine, not treadmill."
"Well, what's the difference?"
"Um...a lot"
"But I got a really good deal, and it has all these gadgets on it."
"Great. If you want to start working out, go for it."
So he returned the treadmill the next day and happened to know someone who had an elliptical in their basement they wanted to get rid of. I now have a (fairly old, squeaky- but no complaints) elliptical machine. I've been doing that 25 minutes a day on top of my videos, but still no more weight loss to report.

The other day, Joey woke up first and we had to get ready for the dentist so he and I were in his room (that he shares with Ben) going through his old clothes to find shorts. After a few minutes Ben stirred. Joey said "Good morning Benny." Ben said "Bose of you, get out of here so I can get some sleep!!!!!" Apparently he had a long night.

My sister and I went to Blue Man Group Sunday night. It was good, but I didn't get into it as much as I thought I would. Some parts I laughed real hard, and I thought it was really cool how they played music on pvc pipe, but it just didn't have that oomph I expected. My sister reports that the show in Chicago (not the tour) is much better.

Both boys had excellent reports at the dentist. No cavities, although Joey gagged on the toothpaste and she couldn't finish cleaning his teeth. Ben was a wiggle worm. That kid cannot sit still when someone is paying attention to him, just like a puppy.

Speaking of puppies, I finished Marley And Me. It was a good book, but you really have to be a dog lover to get it. A dog lover I am not. Sorry. One of my flaws.

Good Morning!

I just want to say that I have a total of 210 cardio minutes this week and about 3000 calories burned. Do you think I could start losing some more weight?!?!? Nooooo. Still stuck, but not giving up. My tummy is getting slightly less poochy, and I have some muscles in my arms that weren't there before. If only the scale would cooperate. I'd really like to reach my goal by the end of summer and the odds go down every week that I don't lose weight.
Oh well... still plugging away at the guitar this morning. I decided that I am horrible at tuning it and need to get some help there, but I have a couple of chords memorized and the tips of my fingers are very bruised. That's supposed to get better eventually. The kids ask me about every 2.2 seconds if they can play with it. I just keep telling them that after I learn I will teach them. It would be so awesome if my little boys could play guitar.
Baby Camille is still with us. It didn't look good last night, but she pulled through. I think Mommy and Daddy are getting tired from being up 24 hours a day, but they are rejoicing in this time with their daughter.
Oh..so I'm reading this book called Marley And Me. It's about a dog and everyone told me how great it is, but I'm not getting it. Maybe it has something to do with me not really liking dogs, but I don't think I would have lasted a week with that thing. Sorry to all you dog lovers. I am going to keep reading and maybe I'll change my mind. I'll let you know.
K, gotta go wash the sweat off and let the kids get their Mickey D's fix.

The Things My Brain Thinks

I just realized I haven't updated since Monday. So, Camille is doing well. Her family knows that they won't have much time for her so they celebrate every day as a birthday. She is eating and pooping, but she does turn purple every once in a while.
I got my pink guitar today. I fiddled with it and I think I got it pretty well tuned, but my fingers got sore really quick. I'll have to practice a few minutes at a time until they get tougher. When DH found out I was doing this, he said he has always wanted to learn guitar as well, so we are going to try to learn together. He also knows a professional musician who gives lessons (and owes him a favor), so I'm looking forward to that.
I don't know if we'll make it out tonight since hubby has to work til 7, but I'll post sales if we do. Last weeks were crummy so hopefully there will be something good this week.
We actually have no big plans for the weekend, except for Blue Man Group Sunday night, so my big plan is to lay around and try not to spend money- we've been not very successful in that area lately. I have Marley and Me to read and a guitar to play with.
Did anyone feel the earthquake this morning? I was actually disappointed to hear that I missed all the excitement. I just heard about it on the news on the way to work. Probably if I had felt it there would have been some freaking out going on so it's just as well, but....earthquakes are pretty rare around these parts.
I think most people have heard by now, but if you are in the Loves Park/Machesney Park area there is a man driving around in a white pickup truck talking to children and apparently grabbing them if he gets the chance. Watch your babies!

So how was that for random thoughts? I wonder if anyone else can follow where my brain was going? I just typed as I thought, so there you have it.

Some Pics of the Warm Weather

The kids have been lovin' them some warm weather and baseball. The first pics are from last week and the others are from this afternoon.

Apparently the new swingset is only good for hanging on. When I told the boys it was time to go in, Ben said "I just want to go hang around for a foo minutes first."
Ben finally got his haircut today, too. The girl spiked his bangs up a little bit and he is mighty cute, if I do say so myself.
Then he had to cover his handsomeness up with a hat. I guess his ears were getting cold, because he went in for a minute and came out with all the hats in the house. He decided on this one and wore it till we went in.

I forgot to say that Baby Camille is still doing well. She'll actually be going home with Mommy in the next couple of days.

And I have to share this one more Ben story. We went to the local art museum yesterday because they are having the children's art show and some of our friends were there working. When we went to walk around the museum Ben decided it might be a good idea to run from Mommy and climb on a sculpture. Actually that was not such a good idea. The museum lady actually ran across the room to get him before I even realized what was going on. Needless to say, we left after that. Note to self for future: Ben does not belong in an art museum.

Pray

We are in need of as many prayers as possible right now. Baby Camille (see my links) decided not to wait for her scheduled c-section and Kari's water broke this morning. C-section is now at 8:30. I am so nervous for them, I cannot even imagine how they feel. Please pray for a miracle, and for God to give them strength.

Thank-you

Update: Camille is here and breathing. Her family will have some time with her. Hallelujah.

More Change

Guess what I just did? No? Well I'll tell you. I just ordered this. And some books to teach myself to play. I am so excited and can't wait to get started. This is going to come in handy at school, and I will be cool, and I will feel talented if I can actually do it. I'll be happy to put on a show for you anytime.
Why, you wonder? Well, I was at an excellent 2-day Early Childhood Conference this weekend. One of my instructors (Scripture songs for Children) inspired me. She said she taught herself to play at the age of 33 and if she can do it anyone can. She also shared with us that she has Turret's Syndrome and was terrified to get up in front of people, but felt that God was calling her to do just that. SO now she plays guitar and sings in front of hundreds of people and loves it. I guess I saw a little of myself in that story (not the Turret's, just being uncomfortable in front of people and trying new things), so I told myself, "self, playing guitar would be totally awesome. Why don't you give it a try?" And self said, "yep, let's check ebay and amazon and see what kind of investment is needed." Well, turns out less than $100 can get you going. So I'm getting going. I'll let you know how it goes. ;)

Cars and stuff

We've been doing lots of car "browsing" the last week or so and are down to 3 options (I think):
1. A new Mazda5, but only if and when we can get 0% financing. This is my favorite choice now. LOVE the Mazda5. Zoom Zoom.
2 A used Mazda5, but only if we find one with the right options.
3 An Expedition for me and a small sedan for hubby. This involves selling both of our cars but isn't a bad option.
4 (I lied) The Nissan Versa. This used to be my first choice, but then I fell in LOVE with the 5.

Really, it will probably be several months before we decide anything. That's how it works at our house.

Also, our new tv comes today. We'll be able to watch it for a few minutes before both of us go out of town for the weekend, but I'm sure we'll enjoy seeing movies without black lines going through everyone's face.

Yesterday ended up being a beautiful day in between several yucky rainy days. The boys and I played baseball in the back yard for an hour and when Daddy got home we put the swingset together. It was nice having all that time together as a family, but the boys still fought the rest of the evening after we came inside. When will it stop? I know, never.

Stay dry today. Looks like flooding is likely in our neck of the woods. Have a good weekend.

Goals

Today I went to the Library and picked up an old biggest loser workout video to try out. Came home and did it- kinda boring:( The good news is that I've been sticking to working out- at least 4 times a week and sometimes more. The bad news is that I was actually gaining weight for a while there and am just today back down to having lost 10 pounds. I hope to see better results in the next few weeks. I'm setting a goal of another 10 pounds in the next 10 weeks....by June 17th. I can do it. I am the little engine that could.



My clumsy, beat-up Ben fell down the stairs at school today. I was in the other room and heard a thunk and then crying. I ran out and he was face down, sprawled out on the bottom couple steps. I thought for sure that there was going to be more damage to his poor face, but apparently all he hit was his knees. He recovered quickly and was actually a very good boy at school today. I love when that happens- a lot less stress for me.



Also at the library, Steven King's new book Duma Key was on hold for me. I can't wait to curl up on the couch with it. Not too many chores are going to get done in the next few days, darn it. But that is O K.



Well, ran out of stuff. Guess I'll go read for a few before elder son gets home and chaos begins.

Blog Fodder

I actually have a few "blogworthy" things I've been saving up.

The first is my apparently grown-up son Joey. We knew when we had kids that the birds and bees talk would have to happen eventually, but I am so not prepared for it now. Too bad for me. He has been learning about butterflies and life cycle at school, which I am pretty comfortable with since I have taught that myself. He came home and told Daddy that the callerpitter starts out as an egg, then goes to a chrysalis, and turns into a butterfly. Then he asked us "What does that butterfly do after that?" "Dunno, what?"
"The girl butterfly and the boy butterfly get really close and they make a new egg and callerpitter."
Oh boy. Please let this be the end of the conversation. Please don't ask for more details. ...
So, for now, that was the end of it. But when I brought it up to Daddy so we could prepare for the future, he was in complete denial. He says that what Joey knows is the extent of what he should know and we don't need to tell him anything else right now. So what do you think? How much and when do you tell your kids about s.e.x.? I always try to be honest and tell Joey as much as I know when he asks questions (and he asks a lot that I don't know), but should I really tell him where he came from or will that scar him for life. Daddy is very concerned that I am already scarring him by letting him see me in states of undress.

Moving on...Saturday was our genealogy society meeting. We had Tim Honquest (funeral director) talk about his business. It was morbid and at times gross, but fascinating. He told us stuff that we always wanted to ask but were afraid to. Like cremation. Did you know that the "ashes" you get are not really ashes? After the body burns at 1800 degrees for 2 hours, all that is left is the bones. He pushes the bones into a grinder and that is what you get to take home with you. He also told us that the hardest part of his job is not when children die, it is when a husband or wife loses their spouse of 50+ years and has nothing else. That was surprising to me and also very sweet. I hope 50 years from now that there are still those couples around.
One of the horror stories he shared was that just recently here in town someone cremated the wrong body. Can you imagine losing your loved one and then having them cremated before you even get the chance to say good-bye?

Third topic: Yesterday was yet another beautiful day. We were given a swingset from some family and are finally setting it up, despite Daddy's whining and moaning that his yard is going to be all messed up. Uh-huh. 'Cause dog poop doesn't mess it up. And heaven forbid we should mess up the lawn so that the kids have something to occupy them outside once in a while. So I overrode his objections and we will have a swingset.

Ok I think that's all I've saved up. A big thank-you for your donations to the March for Babies. Our team has met it's goal and I think we are going to set a new one, and I am getting close to my personal goal. Until next time...

Adventures

This first picure is just a really good shot I got while the kids were out playing a couple weeks ago. (Before the haircut in the next pic.) We finally got Joey's hair buzzed. I had forgotten how handsome he is with his hair short. (And how scraggly it was long.)
It was such a beautiful day outside yesterday that we had to go ride bikes and run around. It was great, but at one point Ben decided to put his hands in his jacket pockets and run down the sidewalk. I yelled "Don't run with your hands in your pock.." Too late. He biffed face first onto the concrete and this is what he has to show for it. The pictures don't even do justice to the scrapage all over his face. And you know Ben, he cried for about two seconds and wanted to go right back out and play.

Today we have a birthday party for our friends Aiden and Anna. It starts in an hour and we haven't gotten gifts yet and everyone is still in jammies. I guess I shoul get off of this contraption and get something done. Oh wait. This must have been the original weekend for the time change. The computer is an hour ahead all of a sudden. I was kinda wondering where the time went. Well, I still have stuff to do, so... Have a good weekend and enjoy that sun.

Best Friends

I've been thinking a lot lately about best friends. I don't have one and haven't for a long time, but it's really been on my mind just lately. I hear other people talk about their bff that they've known since forever, or the one they just met and clicked with and have been inseparable ever since. I don't have that forever friend simply because of the way we moved around as I was growing up, but I also haven't met that person who I could call my best friend right away. I have friends, but there is not one person I could call up and vent to, or go hang out with on a whim, or laugh with about nothing, or share my secrets with. Does everyone else have that but me? Is there something about me that doesn't let people get close? (If you know the answer, I don't necessarily want to know the truth- truth hurts.) I have noticed that sometimes I meet people who I really enjoy talking to and would like to know better, but then as soon as I get to know them more it's like I stop trying. And it is an effort to be a friend! It is much easier to sit at home with the kids than make that phone call to do something with someone else. Since I went from working with 40-something girls to 9, I've felt even less friend-y. My assistants right now are both twice my age. They don't exactly have the same life issues I do. I guess I need to be able to talk about stuff on a regular basis and I haven't been lately. Except here on my blog. And my blog doesn't talk back.

So ...1/2 hour later and I'm reading over this really depressing post. I'm not going to delete it, but I do realize that life is not that bad. If the best friend department is the only one where I'm not fulfilled in my life, I'm doing pretty good really. I'll just keep trying to be a good friend and eventually it will work out.

This weekend I hope to be doing some car shopping. Wish me luck for finding what I want and not fighting with my husband in the process.

March For Babies

Please note my March for Babies Badge on the left. I am walking 5 miles on May 4th to raise money for the March of Dimes in honor of my friend Kari and her baby Camille. Any donation you can make would be greatly appreciated. This is going to a great cause- helping us have healthy babies. Thanks for your support.

Back Into The Routine

Joey is back to school today and Ben and I go back tomorrow, thank goodness. I am very ready to get back to work and a regular schedule. I have decided that there is no way I can stay home full-time. I need to have something to keep me on track, not to mention at least a small break from my kids once in while. On top of being home last week, my husband went on a fishing trip so it really was just me and the kids for several days straight. Of course he got home yesterday and when he didn't just jump in to help with the kids and give me a break I got aggravated and then we got into a big (BIG) fight out in the garage so the kids didn't hear. I think maybe the whole neighborhood might have heard, though.
So today has been much better. Joey went to school and Ben and I went to give blood. No passing out involved and yummy cookies. I also worked on a Mother's Day album I'm doing with my Live Laugh Love group, and all the laundry is done (though not yet put away). Well, kinda. I have the last load in the "new" dryer my husband brought home yesterday and it is taking forever to dry. That was why I wanted a new dryer but apparently we didn't solve the problem.
And I rode the stationary bike for 35 minutes. I'm not exactly bored with Tae bo, but I've really been struggling to see results lately. I'm hoping that riding the bike in addition to Tae bo will help.
I'm seriously thinking about buying a Cricut soon. I just can't decide if I need the Expression or if the smaller one will do the trick for me. Those cartridges are mighty spendy, too. We'll see.

Lookie What I Can Do

So my sister came into town this week (we see her about twice a year) and we decided to get pictures taken of all of us. We went to a new studio called Portrait Innovations at Cherryvale Mall. For the eight of us we had three girls helping get everone together. They did a good job and they were super patient, but in every picture everyone is looking in a different direction due to the flying stuffed animals. Then when we were looking over the pictures to decide which ones to get, the kids got cra-zy. At one point Ben shoved his little cousin Sam off of a table and head first onto the concrete floor. So we made our choices and hurried out. We let them run off some steam in the play area in the mall and then took Mom out to lunch at Red Robin. Yum.

The exciting news, though, is what I learned to do with the pictures on Photoshop Elements:

The bright ones are cute and all, but doesn't this look much classier? It is soo cool.
This is the first picture I tried it out on. My handsome man.

(BTW I learned this from The Pioneer Woman. She is awesome and she debuted her new website today.)

Try this to brighten up your day. Just click on the blank screen.

Guilty

I am a horrible Easter Bunny! I am also a horrible friend who ruins other kids Easter Bunny beliefs! One more time- I feel horrible about this.
So I was thinking I did really good this year- I bought them toys and books and games to put in their baskets, we decorated eggs, and we went to egg hunts. Saturday night I hid the plastic eggs from the egg hunts and put out their baskets of goodies. Sunday morning I got up and also hid the real eggs. Joey apparently had seen the goodies in a Walmart bag sitting on the computer desk the day before (ok, so I'm not good at hiding things, either). So he was very enthusiastic for the hunt and his gifts, but a little while later he asked THE QUESTION. "Why were my toys already here if the Easter Bunny brought them this morning?" Um..because the Easter Bunny needed my help. "So you got my presents?" No..I just helped the Easter Bunny pick them out because he was busy. "But he still came and hid the eggs, right?" Right. And he still gave you your Easter Baskets. "But you got them." Oh boy.
And them later, Grandma tells the boys the Easter Bunny came to her house, too and left them Easter Baskets. Grr. I really don't like when she does that. I am the only Easter Bunny. Plus that raised more questions. So the Easter Bunny had time to go to Grandmas, but he couldn't get our baskets? I think he decided that Grandma bought his Easter Basket, but that the Bunny still was the one who hid his eggs. I think I am safe for this year, but I better get my game on for next year or it's going to be over.

Oh, and the friend's kids thing. I have a big mouth and started talking about being the Easter Bunny/Santa in front of them. Please, if I ever do that again just kick me. Hard. Or stuff something in my mouth. Or pull out a gun. I'm real sorry.

Bad News, Good News

Well, Daddy did not get the job he has been hoping for and the boys have been praying for every night. We're telling ourselves it was not meant to be and something better is going to come along. For now, though, he has to go on nights for one month out of every three.

The good news is our tv is being replaced with an upgraded model so no more lines on the screen, the accident and insurance mess is behind us, it is almost spring (maybe), we are having lots of fun gettting ready for Easter, we had a nice day off today (all of us), and my sisters and I are getting together this week to get our pictures taken. I just got our school pictures back as well and the pictures of me turned out sooo good. I really don't like having my picture taken and usually pick apart every aspect of it, but I can't find anything wrong with me in these. I don't even have any pimples. Ben's pictures were great, too. Joey on the other hand- apparently Grandma dressed him on picture day and he is wearing black pants and a navy blue shirt. Other than that they look good...

Tomorrow night the Easter Bunny comes. This is as organized as I've been for Easter. The kids dyed and decorated eggs today, we're going to an indoor egg hunt tomorrow (due to the 5 inches of snow we got today), then after scrap night tomorrow night I'll hide the eggs and their non-candy baskets. They got books, super-heroes, a paint your own truck and a family night game. When we were doing the eggs, Joey wanted his to be bright: bright as the sun for yellow, bright as a pumpkin for orange. He also wondered if the "oak" would come out if we dropped them. They don't really eat a lot of eggs, what can I say?

I've been noticing that Ben is really learning about the way the world works. He asks questions about things I haven't even noticed. Tonight when Daddy was chewing at dinner he asked "what's that hard noise in your mouth?" It was crunchy fish. When we watch cartoons he points out that animals don't really talk. He reads books to himself and makes up stories to go with pictures. And he loves to pretend he is a daddy, without kids. You should hear the cute voices he makes when he is pretending to be someone else.