Asthma Attack

My nail polish remover was sitting on the end table today (yes, my house is a mess). Ben saw it and asked "is that to give bugs asthma attacks?"
"No, it's for my nails. Why?"
"Well, we need to give bugs bad food so dey have asthma attacks and dey don't know where de doctow is so dey get dead."
"Why do we want them dead?"
"Cause we don't like bugs. Not spidews or bees or beetows, or odo (other- I can't figure out how to write it) spidows, or ....."

So funny.

Kids...

Funny stories I have to share before I forget:
Ben just grabbed my measuring tape off the desk (I use it frequently. It has to be out at all times. That half inch I'm going to lose next week is the difference between life and death.) He said " I found your mejister."
"What?"
"The thing to see how high you are."
"But what is it called?"
"A mejister. It mejurs you."
"Oh. A mejister. I understand now."

The other day Ben saw a car that he said looked like his Grandpa's. Joey said Grandpa has a Jeep (he does), and I pointed out that this particular car was a Saturn. One of them asked me why we don't have a car like that. I told them I don't want a Saturn, I want a Mazda. Joey said "yeah, but Daddy wants you to have a Tortoise." Well, yes, Daddy has been pushing a Taurus.

Ok, one more not so funny:
I was just giving myself a pat on the back this afternoon for how well we've done with Daddy gone for two weeks (he gets back Thursday). Then everyone decided to go on a rampage. I spilled the milk gallon all over the floor, Joey waited for me to get it all cleaned and the floor mopped then dumped his plant and dirt from school all over the floor. Ben has been absolutely wild today. He's made Joey cry several times, and he ripped my tablecloth. I must admit that none of that sounds that bad, but I no longer get to praise myself for my patience. There was some "slight" voice raising and a "short" time-out for all of us. Tomorrow is another day.

Bunco

So I have a new "hobby." Last night I got together with some girls in my moms group and played Bunco. I haven't laughed so much or had so much fun in a long time. Which might be kind of sad. We all felt like old ladies sitting around playing games, but I had to draw the line when someone suggested that we have shirts made. I will not be a part of that. I might be a dork, and you probably can tell just from looking at me, but I try not to advertise my geekiness if I can help it.
I missed Biggest Loser last night cause I was playing:( It does help motivate me, and trust me I need motivation. I can't imagine going on television wearing the clothes that they have to wear, or stepping on to that scale in front of everyone.

I took the kids to Sapora Playworld the other day to get some exercise. We had a great time, especially on the steep slide. The kids came down first and I was cracking up at how fast they shot out of the slide. Then I decided to go down. Oh my. I FLEW out and across the floor right as another family walked in. They were looking at me like I was crazy, I was laughing hard enough to pee my pants, and then we realized we knew each other. How embarrassing. I was done after that (until Ben peed his pants and I had to go fetch him all the way at the top.)