Summer Changes

I just got reprimanded for not updating my blog in a while...sorry. Daddy got home Thursday night, and it has been an adjustment getting used to all of our new schedules. I have been training for my summer job along with stopping by my school job every couple of days to check mail and messages. Joey had his last day of school Friday which was bittersweet. He's getting so big and he really enjoyed Kindergarten. I hope he loves First grade just as much. Daddy started working nights today so we are really messed up on time right now. To me it feels like early afternoon right now even though it is almost 6. We're not really sure what we're going to do for dinner during this time because I don't really like cooking for just the three of us and I don't want him eating fast food every night. Wednesday the boys start their gymnastics classes and Saturday is their first swimm lesson of the season. I noticed the pool was open when i drove by today, so hopefully we'll be able to go soon for a swim (maybe when all these thunderstorms and tornados finally go away).
I just want to briefly talk about my training today. It was crisis prevention and intervention training, and I got some great tips for dealing with situations that I'm sure I will encounter this summer. But...I was a little distracted. The instructor told us from the beginning that she talks really fast and boy does she. She would tell us some thing, then finish with "Know what I mean?" except it came out "knowdmean?". Once I noticed this quirk I also noticed that she said it alot. Like every sentence. At one point I started counting before I decided that would be too obnoxious. But I really had a hard time focusing on what she was telling us because I was waiting for "knowdmean?"
On another topic...I did it again. those of you that have known me for a while know that I am "slow to warm up." I'm shy and I have a hard time starting conversations with people I don't know. Pretty much every job I've had, once I get to know people they tell me that they used to think I was a b**** because I didn't talk to them. Well, I'm not a b*** at least not intentionally but I apparently don't give good first impressions. I thought I was getting better, and I know I'm getting better about confrontations, but one of my coworkers at my school job sat me down today and had a very (brutally) honest conversation with me about how I came off to her in the beginning. She said she eventually figured out that I didn't mean it, but in the meantime she thought I didn't like her. I just wish people would talk to me sooner so I can assure them that my intentions are good, but I'm still working on my communication skills. I need to wear a sign: "beware- personality may appear meaner than true self." It sucks-I know that I have this flaw and I don't seem to be able to fix it. Baby steps. I'm still trying. Also, I am very tender. I know you are saying "Really?" in this really sarcastic voice right now. But really, I feel horrible that this person was offended for that long and I didn't know and I didn't fix it. I'm going to dwell on this for a while now.

So was that a good update? I'm still here, just trying to adjust to lots of changes.

And if you haven't seen Carol's updates: they seem to be getting ready to say good-bye to her. Her whole family is back in town and they have taken her off life support. She is being kept comfortable. It is very sad, but her family is so strong in their faith. They know that she is going to walk with Jesus and she will be waiting for them when they get there. Please still help me pray for strength for the family for these next days and weeks of grief.

Life Continues

In less than 24 hours Daddy wil be home! The last two weeks have gone pretty fast, and it was nice that I had my sister and my MIL to help me out, but I am so ready for Daddy to take back some of the routine. I cannot imagine how single Moms do it. I would very quickly lose my mind without my other half. The bed has also been pretty lonely, and the last few nights I've had a really hard time sleeping. Last night I actually got up at 3 in the morning to pay a bill I realized I had forgotten. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep better tomorrow night.

I got my heart rate monitor the other day and have been using it to work out. The one thing I've learned is that I'm burning way less calories than what I was calculating. That and that fact that I've been hungry all the time lately might account for why I haven't lost any weight in several weeks. I also learned that when I do my cardio, like Jillian or Tae bo, my heart rate goes way higher than my "target heart rate". I actually have to slow down from what I normally can do, but I need to figure out a way to do a longer workout. I think I'm going to try doing a video in the morning and elliptical in the evening to burn more calories. I am not a dieter and I refuse to cut back my intake any more. We'll see.

I get to go to Joey's school tomorrow for "Portfolio Day." He's going to show me what he's been doing all year, I guess. He's pretty excited about it because he said that he and his friends cleaned their room today and made a welcome sign. Then Friday is report card day and his last day. They have an hour on Monday, but it is not mandatory, there is no transportation, and I will be in training, so Friday will be Joey's last day of Kindergarten. Acckk. It's ok, I still have one more baby to go through it. I think it will be more traumatic in 3 years when Ben is done because then there will be no more. I've hemmed and hawed about another baby, but I'm back on the I'm done side. Anyway...I've been really good about giving teacher gifts all year, and of course I don't have anything ready for tomorrow. I'm thinking about making a card with my cricut, and running out for gift cards in the morning. I do appreciate, as a teacher, my gift cards. Yeah, that'll work.

We're still praying hard for Carol. Not too much news today, good or bad.

Ok, now it's 11:30, but here are the cards I made. Pretty cute, I think.

We Need A Miracle

We are not getting good news about Carol. It seems the Doctors think she is going to stay in the almost vegetative state until the other brain tumors kill her. We've been so hopeful despite all the negatives, but the latest update sounds so devastating. I am having a hard time understanding why God is taking such a warm, joyful, faithful servant as Carol. We need her here. Her family needs her here. She has so much left to do. So now we are praying for a miracle. A big one. God, please hear us. Your will be done, but please, please bring her back.

Kids...

Funny stories I have to share before I forget:
Ben just grabbed my measuring tape off the desk (I use it frequently. It has to be out at all times. That half inch I'm going to lose next week is the difference between life and death.) He said " I found your mejister."
"What?"
"The thing to see how high you are."
"But what is it called?"
"A mejister. It mejurs you."
"Oh. A mejister. I understand now."

The other day Ben saw a car that he said looked like his Grandpa's. Joey said Grandpa has a Jeep (he does), and I pointed out that this particular car was a Saturn. One of them asked me why we don't have a car like that. I told them I don't want a Saturn, I want a Mazda. Joey said "yeah, but Daddy wants you to have a Tortoise." Well, yes, Daddy has been pushing a Taurus.

Ok, one more not so funny:
I was just giving myself a pat on the back this afternoon for how well we've done with Daddy gone for two weeks (he gets back Thursday). Then everyone decided to go on a rampage. I spilled the milk gallon all over the floor, Joey waited for me to get it all cleaned and the floor mopped then dumped his plant and dirt from school all over the floor. Ben has been absolutely wild today. He's made Joey cry several times, and he ripped my tablecloth. I must admit that none of that sounds that bad, but I no longer get to praise myself for my patience. There was some "slight" voice raising and a "short" time-out for all of us. Tomorrow is another day.

We're Goin to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo

Yesterday we picked up Ti-ti (she lives right by the Brookfield Zoo) and headed to the zoo for the day. When we went to buy tickets, there was a sign for memberships. For about the price of two visits you could buy a years membership and get free parking, free admission, free tickets to the children's zoo and play zoo, a free guest pass every visit, and discounts on everything else. I decided to go for it, and I know it is going to be so worth it. We won't have to worry about bringing a bunch of extra money every time we go, and we can do just the things we want to without worrying about getting our money's worth.

They had this awesome new area called Stingray Bay. We got to hang out around the edge of a pool and touch stingrays as they swam past. Ben loved it from the beginning, and Joey just had to be convinced that they wouldn't sting him. We stayed for about an hour, and the boys were soaking wet by the time we left, but it was really cool.

This guy was a show-off. He kept popping his head out of the water and then he would slowly swim towards us until we could reach him, then move down to the next visitors.
Here's the coolest part of the day for the grown-ups: We got to watch baby pigs being born! The boys didn't care, but we found it fascinating.

And my personal favorite is always the gorillas. I love to watch their "human" qualities. Another treat for us: we were there when they were being fed. It was funny watching the little ones try to battle it out for a piece of food. And a couple of times a bigger one tried to take the little one's food, but they ran faster. The zookeeper tried to throw a piece right to the biggest gorilla, but he missed and it hit his arm. The look of indignation was just hilarious. For several minutes after that, he would rub his arm and look over to the zookeeper.So if anyone ever wants to go to the zoo, I have guest passes:)

Yay!!

It's here!! My Cricut arrived in the mail today and I have been checking it out. I can see already that I am going to have to spend more money to really enjoy it, but there are a few things I can do right now.

Ben really just liked the packing peanuts that came in the box. I let him play while I opened my new toy.

Unfortunately they are very static-y and it was a big mess to clean up. They were in his clothes, his ears, all over the kitchen. Then he decided to start breaking them into teeny tiny static pieces.
Oy. At least he had fun:)

And here is me playing my pink guitar. (Or trying anyway). Don't ya love it?

Now I'm waiting for some purchases to arrive from Creating Keepakes and from Dick's Sporting Goods (I had a gift card - I got a heart rate monitor and some new crocs.)

Last night and Tuesday night I had some training for my new summer job. I really cannot wait to get started. I am going to be working with inclusion services for the Park District, so basically I get to play with kids outside all day. My kind of job. At training, though, I realized that most people who need a summer Park District job are either just out of high school or still in it. I felt a little old. All of the coordinators are about 20, maybe. And they're guys. And they're goofy. Should be interesting.

OMG

I am a bad, bad girl. I was just playing on ebay and I bought the Cricut Expression!!! (Picture me with my hands over my mouth.) I really didn't intend to spend that much, but it was such a deal! And I was getting really pi$$ed when people outbid me at the last second. So I showed them. Yeah..... Okay. I think I might be done shopping for the next 2 weeks. Or months. Or maybe years. Is it tax time yet? Anybody need anything that they'd like to pay me for?
My pages are going to be real cute now, and I plan to use it at work, too. Oohh, maybe work will pay for it. Hee, hee.
Wow, that was about the most spontaneous thing I've ever done. I think I might be high. Can I send it back? Oh man, I've lost my mind. I can't spend that kind of money.
Wait a minute. Yes I can. It will be worth it. I'll get lots of use out of it. And I'm saving money in so many other ways (like not going to England with my husband).
Well now that I've talked myself into and out of that seven times, I think I'm good. I can't wait til it gets here, though. Woo hoo. I am woman, hear me roar. And then cower. And then roar again. No, I really don't have a split personality. Really.

I Jinxed Myself

So I stayed up pretty late last night which was an invitation for my kid to get sick. Ben woke up twice gasping and grunting with a pretty bad asthma attack. Both times I gave him his inhaler (thank goodness we don't have to do a 15 minute neb treatment anymore), and he was able to calm down enough to get some sleep. I could tell, though, that we would be needing the Dr in the morning. I called his regular Dr hoping we could get in, but no, they said head to immediate care. Fortunately Grandma was still at our house from my late night last night and was able to watch Joey while I took Ben (never, never, never take both boys to the Dr's office). The wait wasn't too bad and Ben was actually fairly subdued for the first while. Once we got into a room he started getting rambunctious, but the Dr came in pretty quick. Asthma attacks are serious enough to get us quick help. He listened and said that one lung was pretty rattly, then checked his ears and asked the $1,000,000 question: "Does he get ear infections often?" Why yes, pretty much every time we do this routine that seems to be a problem. So Ben is now on antibiotics and steroids for the next five days and we had quite a boring day at home today. Although I did organize all my pictures and created one scrap page with my new goodies.
Tomorrow we hope to get out to see Jim Gill. My sister is running a half-marathon in Madison, but I don't think we'll make it up there.

I'm Sleepy but...

It's real late, but I want to let everyone know that Carol now has a caringbridge website. I added the link on the left. The Drs now seem more hopeful that she will wake up. They are keeping her in a "twilight" sleep for the next few days to allow more healing, though.

Also, hubby had his first day in London. He is downloading pictures to snapfish each day. If you'd like to look, click here. Today he ended his email by saying Cheers. Obnoxious. That's ok, I had quite a shopping spree in Chicago tonight, and I have plans for even more shopping in the next few days.

Updates

Carol had a better day yesterday. The numbers that need to come down are coming down, she is responding to pain, and she fluttered her eyes like she was trying to wake up. The family is able to go in the room with her now and talk to her and touch her. (Did I tell you that they had to look at her through a window for 3 days?) Graduation and programs went well. It was crazy how many people came to graduation. We have a pretty big sanctuary and it was overflowing (and HOT). It was a lot of fun, though, especially since I was not responsible.

Today hubby takes off for his trip to England. He's really nervous about his flight over the ocean. I'm starting to feel like I'm really going to miss him. We haven't been apart for this long in the 14 years we've been together. (Yesterday was our 14 year anniversary. Do you think we did anything? Nope, too much going on.) His Uncle has been here the last few days visiting before they leave. Uncle has not really ever been around kids too much, so he is really overwhelmed with the energy level in our house. I just sit back and watch as he tries to corral Ben. Of course the boys love him and so they climb all over him. Today they wanted him to make their breakfast even though I was standing right there.

Tomorrow Grandma is watching the boys so I can go into Chicago with the girls for dinner and shopping. I can't wait. I plan to spend some money while daddy is gone and here is my perfect opportunity.

Ok It's awfully quiet upstairs. I better go tend to the yahoos.

Keep those prayers coming!

Carol has not woken up from her surgery yet. The Doctors do not seem hopeful, but the family maintains their faith. We did a lot of praying in groups today, so God should have heard us. A coworker and I went up to visit the family at the hospital tonight. They are staying in good spirits and being so strong. So just please keep praying. Right now, we are taking it one step at a time: pray for her to wake up. We just need her to wake up and be with us again. Once that happens, we will pray about the next step.

New Pics

I haven't downloaded pictures in a while, so here are some from the last few weeks.


Joey finally learned to pump his legs on the swing, so now he goes out there every day after school to show us his skills. He can stay out there for hours if I let him. (And sometimes I do)

Ben decided he wanted to ride his bike and this is his "outfit." He is such a nut:) He's got his winter hat under his helmet, then a backpack just in case he needs something while he's out there, and of course crocs are the best biking shoes.
We went fishing a few weeks ago and I thought I could get some great pictures of the boys in the grass by the river. Um...no. The sun was too bright, Ben was too busy, there was too much to do to just sit there and pose. So this is the best I could do. Bleh. Maybe next time.

My boss: Last year she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had treatment over the summer and when school started in the fall she was cancer free. Well, Wednesday she got real sick. Dizzy, light-headed, just knew something wasn't right. She went to the Dr and they said inner ear infection. Thurday she was worse, and Friday they had to call an ambulance. By Friday afternoon, we found out that she had 7 brain tumors and that only 2 of them were operable. She had surgery last night on the 2 tumors and they were found to be cancerous. Right now we're waiting to hear what treatment is going to be, and we are trying to maintain hope. Our Pastor announced the news this morning in church, then a song was played for her and we all prayed together. Everyone loves her soooo much and we are so devastated by this news. Even the Pastor was crying when he was talking to us. So please lift Carol and her family up in your prayers often. That is all we can do right now.

Please Pray!

My boss is ill, very ill, and it does not look very good. Please help me pray for her and her family as they go through this difficult time.

Hi There

Sorry I haven't been back since Mother's Day. The rest of the day went fine. Ben only puked the one time and was fine the rest of the day. Kinda wierd but... We ended up going bowling in the afternoon, and then my Mom and sister came over for a bit.
I've been working, working, working on getting the end of the year stuff done for school. I have to do 3 different programs, plus now I offered to do the one for the 4's. I had to print out diplomas for everyone. Pull together their portfolios. Practice the program. Report cards. Clean the room. ...Ok it doesn't sound as bad as it is. I only have the kids for 2 hours twice a week. Makes it real hard to do assessments for 15 kids in that time period.
But the good news is I am done in one week and one day. Then it is off to my cushy summer job, playing outside with kids and no other responsibilities. I cannot wait. The boys are signed up for swimming and gymnastics over the summer. They are very excited about that. We are planning a zoo trip while Daddy is in England, and I also want to take the kids to the Young at Heart Festival. Other than that we won't be doing too much because Joey still has school every afternoon.
One last news note: today I got a comment from a blog "celebrity" Cardiogirl visited and left a comment about puke on Mother's Day. So cool. Sometimes it's scary to realize that there are people I don't know actually reading what I write. Then I look at what I write and wonder why. I'm pretty boring. But thanks for reading and thinking I'm not too boring.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all my friends who are also wonderful mothers. Also to my Mom even though she doesn't read this.

Just need to say that my Mother's Day isn't starting out the best- Ben is throwing up and Daddy can't even be in the room with it or he says he'll throw up too. So I never really had in mind to be cleaning up my kid's puke on Mother's Day, but that's really what being a Mom is all about, right? Doing stuff for your kids when you'd rather be doing just about anything else.

I'll update if the day gets better. I did get nice cards from the boys and from hubby.

The Next Step

I've been struggling with what to write about Ben's Dr appointment yesterday. I feel like we're getting into territory that I might not want to share. But since I started, I'll finish for now. Dr asked me lots of questions about what my concerns are and seemed most concerned about potential violence since he hits and kicks and throws things without concern for consequences. She recommended the Glenwood Testing Center and sent in a referral for me. She said that they will do a thorough evaluation and will not jump straight to ADD or ADHD. Just from what I told her (and the way he was acting in the room with her) she said oppositional defiant disorder, which is what I thought from the books I got at the library. She said that it sounds like we could use some help with behavior modification, and was very careful to make sure that I didn't feel blamed. I still feel guilty, but I'm telling myself that I just need someone who is an expert to teach me how to help Ben control some of his behavior. I even made the comment that I thought I was a good Mom before he came along and she firmly told me that I am a good Mom. She's seen me enough with the kids that she felt comfortable saying that. Then I got a wonderful card in the mail today saying I am a good Mom. (Thanks!) Maybe I can be a good Mom just by having everyone believe in me. I do think that if I wasn't a "good mom," I wouldn't be going through all this trouble to get us help. It does seem like it would be easier to just keep going as we have been. All of our imperfections are going to be under a microscope to figure out what is best and that makes me pretty uncomfortable.
So right now I could really use some good thoughts (prayers if you're the type) to get us to a happier place as a family. Thanks for your support.

Asthma Walk

I have another chance for you to sponsor me. This weekend is the Asthma Walk. With my little ones suffering from asthma, I figured this would be a good cause. And the boys loved the last walk, so they are looking forward to another. I appreciate any donation. My goal is a little smaller this time, since I only have a few days to collect. Thanks.

Oh, the link is to the left (under MY Links) to donate.

Dr Adventures

Well, Ben's appointment has been rescheduled for Thursday- the Dr was out sick today, but we still had lots of Dr excitement today. Joey started saying his tummy hurt while he was eating lunch. He finished eating and went to lay down for a few minutes but had to get ready for school. He was hunched over and moaning waiting for the school bus so I suggested that he probably shouldn't go to school like that. He cried. He didn't want to miss any school. He said he would feel better. Against my better judgement I sent him to school. I came in and called his teacher right away, though, to let her know what was going on. I had planned on going to work for a while but decided to wait an hour and make sure Joey was ok. Sure enough, 20 minutes later the nurse is calling, saying Joey needs to come home. I picked him up and brought him home. Told him to just try laying down for a while and if he's not better soon we would go to the Dr. He tried going potty, but when he couldn't even pull his pants up I decided that we weren't going to take any chances. This child is never sick. If he can't pull his pants up, something is wrong. So I dropped Ben off at Grandma's (very smart, trust me), and we headed to Immediate Care. There were seriously 20 people already waiting in front of us. Oh boy. So we waited patiently to get triaged, Joey moaning the whole time. We watched several people walk in and then right back out to wait again. When it was our turn we got to go straight to a room, because they were concerned about appendicitis. Phew, I'm not being paranoid. Except as soon as the Dr came in, Joey started feeling better. He was goofing off and laughing as he was examined. (Even during the rectal exam. He said "oh, he poked my poop!") They still decided to do many tests: x-ray, blood test, pee test, and even strep test. Nothing showed up so far, and he seems fine now. He just thought we should have a little adventure today, apparently. And, just like every other time something happens, Daddy is in New Jersey.

Happy Cinco de Mayo

Saturday was our all-day genealogy meeting, so not much to report from that. It was the last one until fall, though which is kind of a relief.
Sunday was the March for Babies. It was a perfect day for a walk on the bike path, and Camille's family was able to come and walk as well. Let me tell you, walking 4 miles while lugging a wagon full of rowdy boys is not easy! When we got to the one mile marker I thought there must be some mistake. Surely we had walked at least 3 miles by then. The hardest part was that last mile. My feet hurt, my hips hurt, the boys were getting restless, we somehow got stuck between a big group of teenagers.... but we finished and I was so happy to have done something 1. To help babies in general, and 2. To honor baby Camille.
They fed us hot dogs for lunch and then we headed home so Daddy could do yard work. I tried to get Ben to lay down for a nap while Joey and Daddy were outside, but the only person sleeping was me. At 5 I started making dinner and had Joey come in to wash up. At that point I realized that he had been out in the sun for about 8 hours. By now you know that I am not that diligent Mamma who puts sunscreen on her child every time he goes out. So he is a bit sunburned. But he looks pretty cute with his little red cheeks. (Is it ok to say that?) Part of the reason he stayed out for so long is the new swingset. We got a swing and a set of rings at Menards this week, and he finally learned to pump his legs to make the swing go. He could swing for hours all by himself. And Ben, who I've always thought of as my athletic one, seems to have quite a bit less endurance than his brother. I've been worrying that his little lungs have some damage from all that wheezing he did the first 3 years of his life.
So today I think we;ll head to the park since it is a nice day again, then after Joey goes to school Ben and I will head to the Dr. I have lots of questions and concerns, and hopefully she can address some of them. I have gone back to thinking that the problem is mostly with his parents and needing consistency, but I also don't think it will hurt to get him checked out.
Hubby is headed to New Jersey for work for two days, and I was supposed to have Bunco tomorrow night so it looks like I'll be home alone instead:( Tomorrow and Wednesday we have field trips to the library, Thursday and Friday we get ready for Mother's Day, and then I have only one more week until our end of the year program. I've discovered that the end of the year is very stressful. There is so much to do in such a short period of time. And as soon as we're done with school, Daddy leaves for England for two weeks. I hope everyone is still alive when he gets back!
So I don't really celebrate Cinco de Mayo, but I thought I'd throw it out there just in case.
Happy Monday anyway.

Snippets

Baby Camille has gone to heaven. She stopped fighting at about 3:00 this morning. We are praying for the family during this difficult time.

I am feeling a bit better. Ben has an appt with his regular Dr on Monday to get her opinion and then we'll probably contact the psych. to at least get him evaluated. I also checked out several books from the library about positive discipline and defiant children. I'm hoping to get some good tips from them. So far Ben matches many of the different criteria for defiant children, but does not seem to be ADD or ADHD. He is also really young for any actual diagnosis, but if we make some changes now I'm hoping not to have a "diagnosis."

Tonight is Joey's Fine Arts Fest at school. I love going to see all the great things he does when I'm not around. He's been talking about it all week. They are also hatching chicks in his classroom. He has been talking about that every day and showing me how big they are getting in their eggs.

Guitar is going good. I can tune it myself now (with the digital tuner) and pluck songs really slow. I have learned several chords and every day I am faster at switching. I'm still excited to learn and accomplish this.

That was all the snippets I could come up with from the last couple of days. Hopefully the weather clears up again soon, cause I sure was enjoying that sun.