Yep, I've lost the equivalent of a healthy baby. I've been working real hard again over the last month or so, diet and exercise, and it is finally starting to show. It takes forever for me to start losing weight. Supposedly it is because I'm "gaining muscle," but in the meantime I get really frustrated. Then I wake up one morning down 2 lbs. And then another few days and 2 more lbs. I guess I just have to keep at it and be patient. Patience is a key word in many areas of my life.
Once Upon A Family is not going very well for me, and since I'm spreading myself so thin anyways, my husband suggested I give it up. I don't want to quit, but I also don't want to put a bunch of effort into nothing. I've done 2 all day booths the last 2 weekends and had no sales. I can only tell myself I'm getting leads for so long. I broke down tonight, I think mostly because my stress level has actually gone up since I started working part time. The kids have been driving me nuts. They are not used to spending so much time together and all they do is wrestle (when Ben is not playing in the toilet- uh-huh, 3 years old and still plays in toilets). I'm not used to spending so much time with them either. We run out of things to do and we all get frustrated. I know none of this is their fault, and I need to have more patience, but see above. Patience is not always my strong point.
So tomorrow is a new day. I'm going to take the boys to the park if it's nice out, and try not to worry about getting anything else done.
One more kid story- Joey's new thing is to write random letters and ask what he spelled. Today he wrote c-o-s-e-s and s-e-e-l next to his picture of Daddy (with a beard and mustache and glasses). And when he puts his name on a paper that he colors, he puts MR Leese. He so wants to be grown up. We have his parent-teacher conference tomorrow. I hope to hear good things about how grown up he is at school.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Goal Update
(My goals for this week: Commit to one volunteer opportunity, have a successful craft show Saturday, get October lesson plans done, paint the town with flyers for the open house, get started on these soup labels, make a whole bunch of song cards for my class, help Heather find her right house, get a new vacuum (and vacuum the house), empty the kitchen table, work out at least every other day, and take a little, but not too much, time for myself.)
Ok, about those goals: I signed up with my Moms group to be volunteer coordinator and am currently doing a drive for MELD. Craft Show, not so good. Not one sale, hardly any traffic. The one good thing was the Tupperware lady behind me loved the company so much she booked a party. Hopefully I'll have better luck at the Family Jamboree this weekend. Got the lesson plans done. Been handing out flyers. Ugh, soup labels. Why did I get myself into this. I've been cutting for three nights and my hands are very cramped. Made some song cards, want to still make more. Heather has a house that she loves, and 2 backups. Hmmm no vacuum yet... Emptied the kitchen table and now there's new junk on it. Worked out the last 3 days in a row. Got some reading in between cutting, especially since the computer crashed. We're borrowing my FIL's laptop now, but I had no computer for 2 DAYS. It was horrible, but I survived. Nothing burned down when I couldn't check my email for 24 hours. AND I tried to give blood but got deferred, took the kids back to the allergist- Ben is allergic to peanuts and now has an epi-pen just in case, scheduled speakers for our genealogy meetings, and cleaned the basement. I think I won't even make a list of goals this week. I'm good. Feeling much better about my purpose.
Perhaps my husband will come home soon and get my computer fixed. He had to work on his friend's car first. Priorities!
Ok, about those goals: I signed up with my Moms group to be volunteer coordinator and am currently doing a drive for MELD. Craft Show, not so good. Not one sale, hardly any traffic. The one good thing was the Tupperware lady behind me loved the company so much she booked a party. Hopefully I'll have better luck at the Family Jamboree this weekend. Got the lesson plans done. Been handing out flyers. Ugh, soup labels. Why did I get myself into this. I've been cutting for three nights and my hands are very cramped. Made some song cards, want to still make more. Heather has a house that she loves, and 2 backups. Hmmm no vacuum yet... Emptied the kitchen table and now there's new junk on it. Worked out the last 3 days in a row. Got some reading in between cutting, especially since the computer crashed. We're borrowing my FIL's laptop now, but I had no computer for 2 DAYS. It was horrible, but I survived. Nothing burned down when I couldn't check my email for 24 hours. AND I tried to give blood but got deferred, took the kids back to the allergist- Ben is allergic to peanuts and now has an epi-pen just in case, scheduled speakers for our genealogy meetings, and cleaned the basement. I think I won't even make a list of goals this week. I'm good. Feeling much better about my purpose.
Perhaps my husband will come home soon and get my computer fixed. He had to work on his friend's car first. Priorities!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
What's My Purpose?
When I sit down and stare at this blank page, I start to wonder what I do all day and where is the signifigance? I know I've been super busy. Between planning lessons, teaching classes, taking a class, working on my business, organizing this open house, trying to keep up with my household chores, maybe spend a little time with the kids, working out, I don't know where the day goes. And I was just reminded today that I signed up at Joey's school to take care of the soup labels that are collected. But it all seems to start to run together. What am I doing that is important? I was reading today about a woman who is fighting cancer. I also read about a friend who is going to be a surrogate. I need a purpose right now. I have to step back and decide what is important (probably not playing on the computer), and rearrange how I go through my day. That means getting better organized to start with. Then what? I have a couple ideas about volunteering my time. My goals for this week: Commit to one volunteer opportunity, have a successful craft show Saturday, get October lesson plans done, paint the town with flyers for the open house, get started on these soup labels, make a whole bunch of song cards for my class, help Heather find her right house, get a new vacuum (and vacuum the house), empty the kitchen table, work out at least every other day, and take a little, but not too much, time for myself. Hopefully there is something important in there. One step at a time.
I do have two exciting things that happened today: I signed up my first consultant with Once Upon A Family! Yay! I have worked hard and want so much for this to be successful, but I was getting discouraged that not very many people have the same passion I do. Well, Barb does. I look forward to her success as well as mine.
Also I did a scholastic book order with my classes and it was almost $500 dollars! That's huge. We are going to get so much free stuff for our classroom!
Until another day. Keep smiling.
I do have two exciting things that happened today: I signed up my first consultant with Once Upon A Family! Yay! I have worked hard and want so much for this to be successful, but I was getting discouraged that not very many people have the same passion I do. Well, Barb does. I look forward to her success as well as mine.
Also I did a scholastic book order with my classes and it was almost $500 dollars! That's huge. We are going to get so much free stuff for our classroom!
Until another day. Keep smiling.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Genealogy
Alot of people look at me like I'm crazy when I say one of my hobbies is genealogy. There are not too many people in our age group who are obsessed with dead people. But I just wish I could convince people how fascinating it is to find an ancestor that no one in your living family knows about, or to confirm a story that has been passed down, or to trace your line so far back that you know where hundreds of your ancestors lived. We would not be here if it weren't for them. I wonder all the time if I have traits that my great-great-great grandma had. I have noticed that on both sides of my family mental illness is fairly prevelent. It might be coincidence, but it actually helps me with my struggle with depression. I at least have medication. Imagine going through it when they just lock you up, or shock you, or who knows what.
Last year we joined a genealogy society (we being my husband and I-he is just as obsessed as I am) and quickly joined the board. We realized that we were the youngest members by far (like 20 years), but thought that we'd be able to get more younger people to join us. Guess what, it hasn't happened. People are just so busy, or maybe they don't care, or maybe they just don't know where to start. Now Bill and I have taken over scheduling programs for our meetings, Bill is heading the committee to nominate new officers, and we're putting together a member survey. We're worried that people will think we're trying to take over, but no one else is willing (or able) to do these things. Where do I find people like me? Are we really that weird? We know we're nerds, but we like us.
Last year we joined a genealogy society (we being my husband and I-he is just as obsessed as I am) and quickly joined the board. We realized that we were the youngest members by far (like 20 years), but thought that we'd be able to get more younger people to join us. Guess what, it hasn't happened. People are just so busy, or maybe they don't care, or maybe they just don't know where to start. Now Bill and I have taken over scheduling programs for our meetings, Bill is heading the committee to nominate new officers, and we're putting together a member survey. We're worried that people will think we're trying to take over, but no one else is willing (or able) to do these things. Where do I find people like me? Are we really that weird? We know we're nerds, but we like us.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Count your blessings
September 14, 2007 - Friday
Today is good day to count my blessings.
1 My husband- he does what he has to to support us. He's dependable. He's funny. He loves us and we love him.
2 Joey and Ben. My heart. Even when they've been running around screaming for seven weeks straight.
3 My job. It has been so wonderful. This is what teaching is supposed to be like. It's just so relaxed, the kids are alot of fun, I work with some great people. I love it.
4 Working part-time. I can actually do things besides work, come home and crash. I've been keeping up on housework (kinda), taking a class, working out, organizing an open house, stuff that I WANT to do.
5 My health. There is so much family history of ill health, so I am extra blessed not to have too many worries with mine.
6 Excersize. Crazy, but it makes me feel so good.
7 Our lack of debt. Part of it is because we are careful, but I also thank God that He has blessed us with good fortune. Many things could have gone differently in our life to change our financial situation.
8 My Family. I'm thankful to be close to my sisters, have a good relationship with my parents, and to be learning about where I came from. If it wasn't for every single one of my ancestors, I wouldn't be here and I certainly wouldn't be the person I am.
9 Life Experience. I make mistakes, but I learn from them. I am a human being. I appreciate the chance to grow.
10 Friends. I left behind many when I changed jobs, but I have been making connections and forming new friendships in different areas. I look forward to becoming closer to my new friends, and finding a way to maintain my old friendships.
God Bless
Today is good day to count my blessings.
1 My husband- he does what he has to to support us. He's dependable. He's funny. He loves us and we love him.
2 Joey and Ben. My heart. Even when they've been running around screaming for seven weeks straight.
3 My job. It has been so wonderful. This is what teaching is supposed to be like. It's just so relaxed, the kids are alot of fun, I work with some great people. I love it.
4 Working part-time. I can actually do things besides work, come home and crash. I've been keeping up on housework (kinda), taking a class, working out, organizing an open house, stuff that I WANT to do.
5 My health. There is so much family history of ill health, so I am extra blessed not to have too many worries with mine.
6 Excersize. Crazy, but it makes me feel so good.
7 Our lack of debt. Part of it is because we are careful, but I also thank God that He has blessed us with good fortune. Many things could have gone differently in our life to change our financial situation.
8 My Family. I'm thankful to be close to my sisters, have a good relationship with my parents, and to be learning about where I came from. If it wasn't for every single one of my ancestors, I wouldn't be here and I certainly wouldn't be the person I am.
9 Life Experience. I make mistakes, but I learn from them. I am a human being. I appreciate the chance to grow.
10 Friends. I left behind many when I changed jobs, but I have been making connections and forming new friendships in different areas. I look forward to becoming closer to my new friends, and finding a way to maintain my old friendships.
God Bless
Things You Should Know About Me
September 11, 2007 - Tuesday
This blog, though technically "public" is really for my friends and family, so that is my audience. That being said, many of you know these things about me, but I need to write about them right now.
1. I take things personally. If someone is upset with me, then I am upset. (Maybe that's 2 things.)
2. I will always apologize when I make a mistake, and I expect the same of others. I know that no one is perfect, so when we make mistakes, we say sorry and move on.
3. I am a perfectionist. I expect myself to not ever be wrong. However, see 2. I can forgive others long before I forgive myself.
4. I suffer from depression. I am medicated, but some days are better than others. Especially when something happens involving 1-3. Once I get upset, it starts feeling like that song: "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms." I know in my brain that everyone hasn't suddenly turned against me, but in my heart I need to curl up in a ball and sleep until, say, midwinter.
5. I tend to say inappropriate things sometimes. If you are offended by something I've said, please ask me what I mean, because I would never say something to purposely offend anyone.
6. I'm the most non-confrontational person I know (but I'm getting better).
Okay that's enough introspection for today. I feel much better now.
I took the boys to the park the other day, and of course Ben had to do everything Joey was doing, so he scared me a few times. At one point he was standing on top of this high twisty thing, and said "look at me mommy, my husband does this."
"Who????"
"My Joey."
"But what did you say the first time?"
"Joey is my husband."
The logic of a 3-year-old.
This blog, though technically "public" is really for my friends and family, so that is my audience. That being said, many of you know these things about me, but I need to write about them right now.
1. I take things personally. If someone is upset with me, then I am upset. (Maybe that's 2 things.)
2. I will always apologize when I make a mistake, and I expect the same of others. I know that no one is perfect, so when we make mistakes, we say sorry and move on.
3. I am a perfectionist. I expect myself to not ever be wrong. However, see 2. I can forgive others long before I forgive myself.
4. I suffer from depression. I am medicated, but some days are better than others. Especially when something happens involving 1-3. Once I get upset, it starts feeling like that song: "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms." I know in my brain that everyone hasn't suddenly turned against me, but in my heart I need to curl up in a ball and sleep until, say, midwinter.
5. I tend to say inappropriate things sometimes. If you are offended by something I've said, please ask me what I mean, because I would never say something to purposely offend anyone.
6. I'm the most non-confrontational person I know (but I'm getting better).
Okay that's enough introspection for today. I feel much better now.
I took the boys to the park the other day, and of course Ben had to do everything Joey was doing, so he scared me a few times. At one point he was standing on top of this high twisty thing, and said "look at me mommy, my husband does this."
"Who????"
"My Joey."
"But what did you say the first time?"
"Joey is my husband."
The logic of a 3-year-old.
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