My heart is hurting right now because I will probably be giving up my blog. It has been therapy for me writing about what is going on in my life, whether anyone reads it or not. Unfortunately, my husband sees it as an invasion of our privacy. Even though I don't agree with him, I need to respect his feelings. He's right, anyone could look at my blog, though I don't know why just anyone would or what they would do with it. So if anyone was reading and still wants updates, we'll just have to talk on the phone or email. I think I will try a journal, because I still need an outlet. I am for some reason having a rough time right now with my emotions, and I need to figure out how to relax.
I know there are many people in the world with much harder lives than mine- I don't even think I have a hard life, but I can't seem to pull myself out of this feeling of not being worthy. I'm a bad Mom, I'm a bad employee, I'm a bad friend, I don't have any friends, no one cares. I know in my brain that all these things are ridiculous, but this is what my heart tells me over and over. Before anyone panics, I am not suicidal and I will not hurt the children. I know enough to know that I need to get help.
The changes that have been happening in my life have been all positive, but combined they have left me feeling inadequate. I think I took on a little too much all at once, plus gave up a lot of my daily interaction with my closest friends. I do miss so much that part of my old job.
So read this quick, 'cause it will be gone soon. Call me or write me for updates, or to talk.
1 comment:
so very sorry to hear that you have to give this up. I agree that it is therapy.. for me as well. I feel such a fun connection doing the blog and I share it with those I love. I feel I am not disclosing too much to anyone who may stumble upon me. I will miss reading your going-ons and i hope we can keep better chats by email so we keep in touch. Take care of you. your friend always, Sarah
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