:(:(:(:(

We just got back from the allergist. Everyone was fine, except that I got a referral to a Psychologist for Ben. He was acting out, wouldn't let her look at him, screamed, hit me, tore the paper off the bed, just really angry. She asked me if he was like that alot. Yes, I said, somethimes it's really hard to get through the day. She asked if it was a discipline problem. I said I used to be a good Mom before I had him. She said (repeatedly) that I need to get him evaluated and helped so he can be a productive member of society when he grows up. My heart is down in my stomach right now. What am I going to do? What if a psychologist doesn't help? What if this just keeps getting worse as he gets older? What is wrong with me? I hate myself when I yell at him, but we are beyond the point of gentle reminders. I feel like I've done everything wrong and it's my fault he acts this way.
So yeah, I'm real sad right now and I have people coming over in a few minutes for a playdate. What do I do when he misbehaves during that?